"Blue Christmas"
Elvis, Updated, not Upgraded
Note from human editor: With the uptick in hater-mail, even with this campaign to share my “carbon-based” stuff, snowflakes always find inarticulate reasons to be selectively triggered. I will feed it not. I imagine I will get flamed for calling Christmas “Blue” as in Liberal, which if you have read pretty much anything I posted, I am proudly so. I can read it now: “Everyone knows Christmas is Red, ya moran (sic)!” Or: “Baby Jesus was pure Red MAGA, you beta cuck!” I could go on, but I won’t. But, I really should start sharing the little darlings’ upchucks, like other writers do. Dontcha think?
As we approach January 6, Epiphany, it is time to sneak this one in whilst I can. In many Christian traditions, Epiphany officially closes the Christmas season, as I was taught by the sadistic nuns and usually shit-faced priests. According to them, this puported Holy Day is to be observed as a shift from birth to revelation.
Right.
And Epiphany also commemorates the visit of the Magi, wise travelers from afar who followed a star and found something far greater than they expected. I have more than alluded to that, its potentially alternate reality, but for once, I will try not to digress.
Yeah.
As for the song, as some suggest, you are either a Beatles or Elvis fan. I am the former, putting it mildly, but not everyone is a fan of the Fab Four. But… one would be hard-pressed to find anyone, anywhere, who is not an Elvis fan. “Blue Christmas” (Billy Hayes and Jay W. Johnson) tells a poignant, seasonal story of love and longing, and as I am wont to do, I just wreck it all.
Zero respect. I should be ashamed. I’m not.
Ever.
Regardless, I hope you enjoy my irreverent take of the famous Xmas (that alone triggered a dozen members of Cult 45/47) tune, which has remained a Christmas staple for damn good reasons, until, again, I just had to take it on a joyride, wrench on the manual break at a 45° angle, flip it until it came to rest in the ditch and yes, I walked away without a scratch.
I always do.
Sorry, Elvis, not sorry.